An Idea That Could Be Funny

Alright. Seems like some people like this. So let's try it out.



A young fellow stands in their bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 30th of July, is this youngster's 18th birthday. Congratulations, welcome to adulthood, chump. And while they WERE given a name 18 years ago, for one reason or another, we don't seem to have it on hand. Alongside... various other attributes of this person in question. Tell me...

What will the name of this youngster be? Alongside their pronouns--silly me, it seems they haven't made one of those nifty cards yet.

=> Be named STINKASS BUTTLORD (they/it)
=> X
=> Try again.
=> Be named SARA MCCARTER (they/it)
=> V

(that was supposed to be a checkmark but. oh well. name is randomly generated btw)

==> STINKASS BUTTLORD
X

Nice try smartass. You feel as though someone is personally trying to fuck with you. And whomever they may be, they must be some kind of prankster.

==> Virginia McCarter

Your name is VIRGIANIA McCARTER. But personally, you prefer your online forum nickname "WIZARDSTONE." Rolls off the tongue. Your pronouns are "they/it."

It's a nice, warm summer's day. Birds chirp idly outside, bumbling through the sky. It's honestly a little funny. Like little sky dogs, very excitable. But for you, it's better to stay inside with air conditioning. Sweet, sweet air conditioning. Speaking of which, you should change out of your pajamas, it's a little hot in here now. You peel yourself out of bed, and stumble toward the mirror. Best to pick your outfit for the day. Speaking of... maybe you should look around.

Your room is absolutely SLATHERED in posters you bought from the local DOLLAR STORE. Old movies, musicians whom have since passed away, video games you'll never play, you don't care. A lot better than that beige junk beneath it. Across from your twin sized bed and adjacent to the bedroom window is your desk and computer, shut after a long night's argument over what non-game character should be in Smash. Your WARDROBE-MIRROR X2 COMBO stands before you, weathered knobs housing your outfits beneath. Being as it's summer, it's mostly short clothes. T shirts, tank tops, shorts, some baggier pants, an occasional flannel if you're feeling stylish. Almost all baring some graphic logo. When people approach you to question you over it, you like to troll them a little. Makes you quite happy.

Though you suppose it's time to get dressed. Or not. Maybe you want to do something else? Who knows.

You investigate a nearby poster--one of many forming your new "wallpaper." The particular one you selected, closest to the lefthand side of your wardrobe, depicts Marty Robbins--singer and songwriter--dressed in a cowboy outfit for his "Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs" album. You've always dug cowboys to some extent. Leather boots, swanky hats, the SICKNASTY QUICKDRAW SKILLS. It's the best aesthetic, really. Aside from all the other ones you're invested in.

You decide to horse around a little longer. While you may have nothing to hold under you to pretend it is said horse, you gallop around the room a few times anyway for the hell of it. In doing so, you nearly run into your desk, wardrobe, and TRAMPOLINE a few times. But what is the cowboy life without risk?

You pause. Arrest them? Why, they're your ESTEEMED COWBOY DEPUTIES! Why would you arrest them? After all, Deputy Trampoline has made the most arrests thus far, keeping criminal stuffed animals trapped beneath his net! You couldn't be more proud.

God you're so fucking lonely. But considering all of your interaction is with online friends, you figured you'd know that by now. Regardless, you pat your deputies with a smile.

After fondly regarding your deputies, you shift from their position and return to your wardrobe / mirror. You pull on a simple tank top, black jeans with far too many pockets (courteousy of Hot Topic,) and a silly little bandana--tying it around your neck. There is one piece missing--inspired by your recent hyperfixation on westerns, you reach deep into the back of the wardrobe. Retrieving the final article of clothing, you place it atop your head.

Marty Robbins would be proud.


It is suggested by the narrator to open the image! That, and take a listen to the selected background music. homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/harlequin-3