A young man stands in his room. Though it has been three years since his thirteenth birthday, people kept being "busy" and "already having plans", leading him to be repeatedly forced to reschedule the party, and he's quite honestly very pressed about that. Due to these quite tumultuous past few birthdays, it is only today that he shall receive a name. What should it be?
==> Jack Callahan Callahan, like the cop from the hit webcomic Shiloh! You should read it, it's pretty neat. (edited it to change the first name, hope you don't mind?)
Last Edit: Dec 11, 2023 14:17:37 GMT by arcadianScum
At last, a name for the poor sap. We rejoice with confetti. "Jack Callahan", an acceptable title for an acceptable boy, despite the fact that the font may be off. You can't win them all. Now that's over with, the young man can begin preparing for his birthday celebration later this evening. What should he do first?
>Jack: Look for a computer. It looks like I'm the only one here, I guess? Lol, but that's fine. Maybe if this gets more popular more people will leave directions?
Last Edit: Dec 11, 2023 17:25:19 GMT by arcadianScum
>Jack: Look for a computer. It looks like I'm the only one here, I guess? Lol, but that's fine. Maybe if this gets more popular more people will leave directions?
oh man i did not see ur reply, but im sure more will join too. i didnt reply earlier cause i was in class
You are now JACK CALLAHAN. You attempt to both check out the room and look for a computer at the same time. Thankfully, you manage to complete both tasks at once. Here is your room, and here is your computer! Nobody's messaging you now, to your utter disdain. But you can look at your cool bedroom! Your walls are decked out with some COOL ASS POSTERS. They feature your favorite thing: KNIFE CLUB, unequivocally the best film ever released. It is your favorite. You tell people you like it for its SICK KNIVES and DEEP MASCULINE STORY. Truthfully, you like it because it's about your favorite character from the book, DICK WALKER, and he doesn't get enough metaphorical screentime in the original story. Your bed is actually just a MATTRESS ON THE FLOOR. This is the most ergonomic and efficient setup you can possibly imagine, and you take no criticism on it. Your floor is perfectly clean. This is because all of your possessions are in that BOX IN THE CORNER. If you opened it, they'd probably all fall out.
Last Edit: Dec 11, 2023 22:51:04 GMT by pissWizard
The BOX IN THE CORNER draws you in. You try to resist, but cannot escape its hypnotic allure. A sense of dread begins to dawn on you. Horrified, you simply cannot help yourself. Despite yourself, you pull the lid open.
Your bedroom is now filthy. AMBIGUOUS GARBAGE coats the floor. Perhaps with a higher pixel count you'd know what it was, but as is, it's just blobs of black and white. This is slightly annoying, but it'll be fine. You can deal. You're JACK FUCKING CALLAHAN, for chrissakes. Despite your words, the filth gets under your skin. You don't like standing on this gross floor. It is abhorrent.
>Jack: Invoke Law of Absence The rules state that if nothing happens, you should make something happen. It's been 12 hours, and the author is about to go to first period to draw the panels. Do something interesting.
You decide to UTILISE your computer. Better make sure your friends are gonna be at the party! You boot up your computer. It's an AMBIGUOUSLY BRANDED LAPTOP, but for some reason it still uses WINDOWS XP. You and your friends don't trust that modern tech. You boot up Pesterchum, the hot old-fashioned communications device, to contact your buddies.
Who will you contact first? >xXleminmerengueXx >listKiller >soverignPenance
You mull it over before the warm glow of your computer screen.
--squalidSopester [SS] began pestering xXleminMerengueXx [LM] at 3:00--
SS: hey. it's been hours. are you gonna be at the party ?? LM: omg haiiii :3 LM: YES i am 4 shure gonna be there lolol /pos LM: prepping ur gift rn u r gonna LUV it sm SS: oh okay that's good to hear SS: was kinda worried nobody would turn up tbh. but since you're gonna be there ig I have nothing to worry about. SS: because sp will totally come too if ur there. SS: and if we're all there then lk probably wouldn't miss out. SS: he's just like that, you know. SS: i should probably still make sure, though. LM: lol yeh hes just like tht yk :3 /pos LM: dude i am so excited rn words cant even describe LM: i cannot WAIT to give this 2 u omg :333 SS: i'm sure it'll be great. SS: gonna go talk to lk bye. LM: baiiiii <3 /p
Suddenly, you're the girl. You stare at the chat. You suspect you will not be the girl for long. You'd better make good use of this time.
Suddenly, you become aware of yourself. You close out the computer. You need a name, you think to yourself. But then you remember! You are fifteen, and received a name two years ago. Your name is JENY HORSHWITZ. You are probably cooler than all of your friends, even though you're a lot younger. You only turned 15 about two months ago. Your room is sparsely decorated because you're not allowed to have a large number of possessions. But the decorations you do have are SUPER COOL!
You're using it as a desk right now, but beside your bed is a VANITY DRESSER. Your bed is one of those cool ones with the drapes that every kid wishes they had. That's right- they sooo wish they were you. As LK would say? You're the shit. Right now, you're working on a birthday present for your good friend SS, who, as of today, is named Jack. You immediately incorporate that into your lexicon and then puzzle over your next move. Maybe you should finish the birthday present before anything else? You're not sure.
It's perfect. Jack's really into MASCULINITY, so he'll love the TRADITIONAL MALE GARB. All you need to do now is wrap it.
You utilize your FETCH MODUS and captchalogue the TRADITIONAL MALE GARB. Your personal flavor of modus is the Bin. It allows you to store one item at a time. Internally, it assigns a random number to each card. When you try to withdraw items from the deck, it picks a random number and spits out that card. You haven't used it a lot, so there might be some stuff somewhere in there, but you aren't sure, and to be honest, you DON'T CARE.
You store the TRADITIONAL MALE GARB and exit the room.
...
SS: jenyyy. SS: ugh. SS: whenever you see this can you contact sp. SS: she's not responding to me :/ SS: gonna go talk to lk now. bye.
You are. SOOOO excited to get this gift finished.
You face the vast expanse of your upstairs hallway. Before you are several framed FRAMES. Your YIA-YA sure had some weird interests.
Alas, it's gonna be a few hours before you have to go to the party. Giving your dear friend his gift will have to wait until then. But you're good at having fun. You can dawdle on your way.